Grieving Our Losses

Dear Friends,
So many souls are transitioning from the planet at this time and we who are left behind, rightfully so, want to maintain a personal interaction with them. I seem to be doing more grief counseling the last few years. I am experiencing it myself this summer.

It takes time to adjust and make peace with it. The mind has to wrap itself around the fact that they are no longer with us in physical form but always with us in spiritual form.

Give yourself that time and honor your feelings. Cry when you feel like it, don’t stuff or deny your feelings. If we don’t grieve it when it happens, we never really get to the point of internalizing it so we can live with it and accept it. It isn’t real until we do let ourselves feel the loss and mourn it. If you are blessed with supportive family, that will help a lot. Be open to the presence of your loved one no matter what form they come in, knowing we never loose anyone. The soul never ceases to exist and our love for them keeps them alive in our hearts and minds forever.

Death is only an end to this early existence for now. Later we will all be together again. This is just the beginning of a new form of life for them in another dimension. For many it is a familiar beginning once again after transitioning from life here. The peace and joy I feel knowing they can be restored if they choose to be… to perfect physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well being after struggling here so long balances my missing them and warms my heart.

It has been my experience that our loved ones come to us in our dreams and even when we are awake to continue our relationships. Often they appear when they are passing over to say goodbye and assure us they are alright. If your mind is available, they may come to visit to assure you, you have nothing to feel guilty about, or to apologize for some perceived wrong or mistake they made. They may make you aware to watch out for someone or something they see from the other side. They may move something around or cause some electrical glitch to get your attention. We know they are watching over us. Every ancient tradition and religion teaches this. I have asked them to watch over my adopted children’s loved ones as they were arriving on the other side and felt they did so. And I ask them to take care of my family here when they need special blessings and sustenance.

It may take some healing time but eventually we will be able to and want to deliberately keep them alive and actively include them in our lives. We can continue to talk with them calling them by the same names throughout the day, knowing they feel our love and are thinking about them, do activities we shared together with fond memories, keep some mementos around or wear their jewelry, and have little celebrations on their birthdays and holidays by setting up a little alter with candles and prayers and thanksgiving for everything they did for us or go to church and light candles for them.  I gave my daughter who reminds us of mother so much some of her jewelry to wear. I still use their eyeglasses, dishes and desk items that remind me of special connections to them. I would drive daddy around when he got macular degeneration, was at the hospital when mother had eye surgery. I have a musical instrument my grandfather made, one of his conducting batons, his compositions, his paintings on the wall. I have antiques from their homes. I watch all kind of shows I used to watch with them and it touches me deeply remembering their enjoyment and our discussions. I have the house filled with their photographs as a reminder of the standards they held in life and raised me to value. I remember their dreams for me and the ones they didn’t have for me. They have let me know when they didn’t approve or want me to give up after they passed on as well as when they are happy for me and the children. I brought their pictures and antiques to my son’s wedding to include them. We definitely have no intention of not continuing our eternal loving relationship.

I have a parallel life in my dreams with my parents. I assume we didn’t want to not be in each other’s lives. I’ve known all my life I have been with my parents and my children in many lifetimes. I have always spoken to family members on the other side and sometimes to client’s loved ones who have transitioned to help them resolve some unrest so they can go to the light.
We just lost the grandmother in our family which of course triggered my loosing my own mother years ago, which gave me more opportunity to grieve mother too.  Grandma had a big heart and adopted everyone who showed up in their very large family.  She had been like a surrogate mother to me and grandmother to my son. And a mother to her two granddaughters, my daughters by love. Now we are supporting grandpa who is also sick and was with her for almost 60 years. He is like a father to me and grandfather to one of my boys too. It is a difficult part of life but we know they are happier and more peaceful than they have ever been. We are grateful she didn’t suffer through a long illness. I saw and talked to grandma when she left and she was bright and radiant like I’ve never seen her. She appeared to her family in the hospital like that too, which was wonderful for them.

They want you to know they know you are there, they can hear you, that you are concerned and hurting. They have the desire to give you relief.  My father, who had already essentially passed, was not in his body, and had the death mask on, waited to make his final transition until I arrived home from a trip and took his hand and told him I would look after everyone as he always told me to and he could leave. He felt great responsibility about not leaving the family without him as the head to take care of us.  He squeezed my hand and gently passed into the light he had been going back and forth to for days waiting for me to get home for this final visit.

It is comforting to know we have been together before, are still together, and will be together in the physical again.

Soul Talk: Rescripting Karmic Contracts © Adele Tartaglia

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *